The - Guitar - Song

Hey Kitten, whatcha doin'?
Wanna play the guitar?
You say, what's that sound
Coming out of the hole in the wood?
You say, what's that sound
Coming out of the hole in the wood?
You say, what's that sound
Coming out of the hole in the wood?
It's the guitar

"The Guitar Song" - The Dead Milkmen





My ability to play music stops at iTunes. I've always wanted to play a musical instrument. I remember being disappointed back in second grade when we were all given a "recorder" and had to learn to play - I remember thinking that we were each going to be given a "tape recorder" and somehow were going to be taught the proper way to play such a device - don't forget this was the 80's and a serious skill was to be able to synchronize the play button with the record&play button on dual tape decks. Granted, I never pursued an illustrious career as a recorder player, but have always wanted to play something.



I created a sort of goals list, not quite the bucket list, but things I'd like to do or learn. I was recently able to scratch off my #1 (finding my birth mother) so now it is on to #2 - learn to play the violin. So I changed my mind since I wrote the list - besides I've been told learning to play the guitar is a great foundation for learning to play the violin. With that said, I picked up an Ibanez acoustic guitar last night and can't wait until I know what I'm doing - so feel free to provide me any comments regarding learning to play.



My stimulus check went to good use - actually, I think I've spent it about 4 times!

Open Letter to My Birth Mother

The process of searching for a birth parent is overwhelming. But my guide through this process suggested I write a letter to my birth mother, so if/when they found her they could let her know why I wanted to meet her. A few beers, one cold December eveing, and a shit load of tears later I had the following letter saved on the hard-drive of my laptop. My hopes were that she would read this letter and agree to consent - meaning she would allow the courts to release her information to me so we could communicate and start a relationship:




To the woman who gave birth to me:

December 19,2007

Dear Mom,

I love you. Rarely does a day go by that I do not think about you in some fashion. I wonder about the woman you were, the person you have become, and the unimaginable choice you had to make. I question whether you think about me and how I have grown. I wonder what you look like and where I got my dark hair, hazel colored eyes, and love for music. I speculate about your life without me and reflect on my life without you.

I admire you for your decision and your choice - the choice that afforded me a childhood that did not know hard-times, poverty, or hunger. I grew up with a family that loved me like one of their own – if not better. I am full of hope, love, and questions, not resentment, bitterness, or animosity.

I grew up always knowing I was adopted. I cannot recall a time when I thought or knew otherwise. I praise my adoptive parents for this. Nonetheless, I wanted to know more about you, my birthmother, from the time I could comprehend the meaning of adoption. These feelings only grew stronger as I grew older and as I questioned my own heritage. When I was eighteen, I was able to receive non-identifying information about you and your family. These three pages were, and have been, my only tangible link to you. I’ve read them over and over, and while they only capture you at a single moment in time they bestow me with just that – a view through a window into your life of some thirty plus years ago.

Since then, I’ve tried numerous methods of trying to find you. I’ve registered with the state, I’ve contacted the children’s home, I’ve registered on countless internet adoption match and registry sites. I’ve even tried a few other things…. All to no avail.

I’m writing you this letter as your son - the one that kicked you from the inside of your womb, the one you think about every St. Patrick’s Day – asking you to allow me back into your life, to let me to see your face and speak your name. I ache for these simple pleasures.

Your loving son,



Anthony Patrick – “Michael”



(she agreed to consent before they even read my letter to her)

Happy, Happy, Happy - Mother's Day

I've yet to figure out how to superscript text on the blog. I'd love to be able to put the little cubed reference - #3 in superscript anytime I referenced my mothers. Yes, I have three. It all started out many years ago when I only had one. But today I sit here enjoying the love of the three most wonderful, unique, and caring women a boy could ever imagine having as a mother.

Please let me introduce (with the full story still to come):

Mother #1

(Picture is missing in action: per her request.)

The mother who changed my diapers, raised me, and made me the person I am today.

Mother #2

The mother I feel honored to call a mother - we cried on each others shoulders as she lost a son and I lost my best friend. I will never fill his shoes or the hole in left in our respective lives. But our relationships' fulfill some of our deepest needs. She has guided me through the storms and has been there with open arms, a warm meal, and a "place" in her life when I had none of the above.

Mother #3

My birth mother. An unbelievable woman who sacrificed her paternal rights for me - yes, for me! Thirty-four (34) years of unanswered questions, wondering, searching, and countless tears brought us together this year. The experience has been one of emotion, speechlessness, tears, joy, happiness, unimaginable feelings....it has seemed surreal but then oh so real.

(The full story will be in theaters Fall, 2010)

Narcissism

I'll admit that I enjoy talking about myself.



I would consider myself humble, at least until you got to know me. I'm troubled with the idea of writing a lot about myself, it seems so narcissistic. Which, to me, seems to incorporate a negative connotation. Ah, fuck it... we are all friends here, right? And last time I checked I was the only one with a password for this blog.....and it's not like I'm making you read this!



So, let me describe myself: I am a thirty-four year old guy. My world revolves around my two-year old daughter, Gracie. I am also a thrill seeker. However, I think the more current term is adrenaline junkie. I have more hobbies than free time - which is an issue. I'm working on a way to balance these two facets of my life. In no particular order I love boating (i.e., anything involving water: wakeboarding, jet-skiing, SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing, fishing, yachting - wow, that sounds yuppie), motorcycles - street and dirt, bicycling - mountain and road, skate(ing) - boarding and ice, golf, and let's throw in guns and motors in case there wasn't enough testosterone already there. I love being outdoors and doing something - anything. I'm self-diagnosed with an adult version of ADD. Which means I don't do well at family type events where I'm forced to sit all day.



Other things that might help you get to know me: I rarely watch TV. In fact, I don't have cable or satellite - just an antenna and some local stations! I am a music man. My stereo is my life. I listen to everything and love music, of all types, especially acoustic. However, I have little to no musical abilities with the exception of being able to sing along with the music at extremely high levels in my car - yes, I'm "that guy" - the one you see singing in his car - hate me if you must. I have also developed an enjoyment for reading. Oh, god.... I don't believe I'm about to admit this, but for some reason it feels therapeutic to get this out in the open: I have read every book Nicholas Sparks has written. Did I forget to mention I am not gay, not that I have a problem with that, just that I really enjoy women, especially this one: http://www.daughterofopinion.blogspot.com/.



I'm adopted. This is huge. In fact, this has shaped my life more than any other single event. It has truly made me the person I am in so many ways. Today, as I sit here and type this I am enjoying the love of not one mother, but three. (yeah, I know, I'll have to explain). Did I mention that it's a good thing? I'm grinning as I type, it is a good thing!



I also have a day job. I have a background in electronics and business management and I currently do sales and marketing for a electronics manufacture. It provides me a lot of freedom and experiences I would have never experienced on my own....and it helps support my aforementioned hobbies above. I have also enjoyed being a slum-lord in the past and have a knack for fixing and fixing up things. Oh, and I almost forgot, I have a lead foot - which is starting to get expensive!



That's pretty much me....



Tony


(I forgot to say "cheese")

email findings

"As an Alumnus of the KARRASS Effective Negotiating program, you will receive a tip each month."

I ran across one of these this morning as I was deleting old emails. I actually enjoy receiving these because they are often filled with positive ideas and concepts that I try to incorporate into my life. The one I found today I had not deleted because it stood out when I first saw it. I should have moved it or deleted it but didn't. I now realize it had a purpose for being there; and that purpose was to share on this blog.


Per Dr. Karrass' mass email:

"If you think you can, or if you think you can't, you are right!"

#2

1/8 Full was my second choice. My first, was an old addage I came up with many years ago that has helped me overcome many insurmountable projects by stepping back, taking a deep breath and realizing we are equipped to do anything we set our minds to.


"Nothing in life is difficult, somethings just take longer."


(blogspot had a character limit on blog titles)

The Story Behind the Name.

In a play called “The Price” by Arthur Miller, the main character suggests, getting the story is as important as getting the price. I’m a sucker for stories, which is one of the reasons why I created this blog. To expand on this, I wanted to share some of my own stories as a way of giving back a little of what I have been so fortunate to receive over the years. I’m also hoping this blog will provide a creative outlet for some of my pent up energies.

They say there is a direct correlation between optimism and success and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve always been pretty optimistic and I’ve continued to enjoy a certain level of success. But this last year has brought unimaginable wealth into my life. Mind you, not necessarily in the form of my bank account, but in the nature of emotional fulfillment beyond even my (your) wildest dreams. (1)

This all leads up to a recent discussion where I was inevitably taking “the glass is half full” side of the argument, when it came to me, that I was so optimistic about the outcome of the said event, that even if my glass was less than ½ full, I’d still be calling it “full!” That discussion helped me coin my phrase and the now title of this blog “1/8 Full.” (2) It’s my optimistic way of saying, even when we don’t have much we make the most of what we have.

I intend for this blog to maintain an optimistic outlook. However, I realize it might have its down days. I’ll do my best to make it a place of refuge for those looking for a collection of nice little stories. I do hope you enjoy.

1) Moody Blues Reference – I will write more about this later.
2) Granted, any fraction less than ½ will work, but 1/8 shows commitment and helps prevent someone from trying to steal the idea with a “7 Minute Abs” (3) style conundrum.
3) Something About Mary - Hitchiker and Ted’s conversation: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0129387/quotes

Test

The first post is supposed to be meaningful isn't it?